How did you sleep last night? Gail isn’t sleeping well….

sleepI wish I could get some sleep.

That sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? I’m getting some sleep but not enough. Not by a long chalk. I’m going to bed so tired I can barely climb the stairs and within a couple of hours, ping.. I’m wide awake.

Sometimes I wake because I’m too hot, as women of a certain age often do. Other times there is no reason at all. I just come to and that is it. Believe me, nights are very long when you can’t sleep.

Meg is on a mission

Meg always tells me she will sleep like the dead and having shared a tent with her on a number of occasions, I can concur. And she snores! As someone who never has a problem with sliding into the land of nod, she is very unsympathetic towards my plight. She’s also full of what she thinks are helpful suggestions for resolving the issue. Indeed she has made it her life’s ambition to ensure that Morpheus sets up home in my bedroom.

Megs plan

counting sheepSo far, Meg has subjected me to warm lavender baths and mugs of hot milk with nutmeg (yuk). I’ve uploaded an app to reduce the blue light exposure on my devices and I’m banned from watching TV late in the evening. I’ve been trying to get a minimum of 2 hours bright daylight every day, which isn’t easy in a rainy British summer. Alcohol is verboten and now she’s banging on about the merits of decaf coffee. I hate decaf coffee – a waste of hot water in my view. I’ve tried meditation, calming music, and magnesium. We read some stuff online about a calming bedroom environment being good for sleep and Meg has now Feng Shui’ed the room within an inch of its life. Sadly, all efforts to get me into the land of nod for more than a couple of hours have proven fruitless.

I’m so knackered, I keep dozing off during my lunch break. Then I spend the rest of the day worrying whether I sleep with my mouth open.

I’ve become completely obsessed

I’ve become obsessed with my lack of sleep and resent everyone who mentions how rested they feel. It’s like they are all subliminally rubbing it in. Even Fudge who will fall asleep at a drop of a hat.

SleepI’ve even started a sleep diary. This was in the hope of finding a pattern, something that triggers my insomnia. So far, all it’s succeeded in doing is making me even more depressed about the lack of sleep. And no, I don’t seem to have a trigger. My Ma is convinced it’s because I eat cheese. I mentioned it to Harry in our weekly catch up call. Predictably, he decided it was because I was missing him. How arrogant can you get? I crisply stamped on that notion, but it did make me think.  Is that a reason? He’s certainly a nice diversion but I’m not convinced he’s the root cause.

Please help.

begSo, dear reader, this is a plaintive request. Does anyone have a foolproof method for improving my sleep pattern? I’m at the stage where I will consider anything, however off left field and whacky it might be. Clearly, I would prefer it to be legal. So, let me have all your ideas.  I need your help.