Firstly I need to say, I don’t actually dislike football and so far this World Cup has been full of surprises! It’s fair to say the nation has gone football crazy. England flags are flying from bedroom windows, car aerials and shop fronts. I even saw an estate agents window where they’d removed all the for sale houses and replaced them with England flags!
My house has become center point for all England football matches. One by one the teenagers arrive with boxes of beer, popcorn, and crisps. Hoping for an England win every one of them becomes a professional commentator for the full ninety minutes amidst the odd obscenity and call to “pass the Pringles”!
Things I’ve learnt about football
Nothing right now is more important than football. Do not interrupt them when watching a game. Don’t keep asking for an explanation of the offside rule! Do not say it’s only a game. Remember football is everything to them. If they eat sleep and breath football be prepared, as should we get knocked out it will be the end of the world. To many, it will be a tragedy an unimaginable pain, and suffering. As a rule of thumb England are either in a white or red strip so don’t ask which team is which. I’ve also realised it’s not a good time to say footballers are overpaid or when’s the interval. As for David Beckham, ladies, don’t mention him as unfortunately he’s retired.
The beautiful game
Basically, this game is man kicking a round ball into his opponents net. Rolling around the pitch crying in pain from the slightest touch is all part of the game and some teams have excelled in this more than their skills with the ball. Of course, I’m well aware that many women also love football and are extremely good at playing it. But personally, I’d rather be dancing.
How to spend ninety minutes
Alternatively, you might find that you’d like to spend your ninety minutes at your favorite shopping destination. I’ve found the shops are very quiet during an England match, as are the roads. It’s also a good time to catch up with a friend but I’d suggest avoiding the local pub. If you’re after a GP appointment it’s probably an ideal time to call the surgery. You’ll most likely get a choice of appointment times.
But right now we should all be smiling as the England team have exceeded our expectations. We have a genuine chance to make some England football history. So well done to Gareth Southgate and the England team and good luck for Wednesday. We’ll be enjoying the spectacle wearing red and white and waving our flags. Let’s hope it’s coming home.